Charter Communications Stupidity

Sigh...I just tried an online chat session with a Charter rep in order to find a better service deal. Unfortunately, Charter has a long history with taking both the "customer" and "service" out of "customer service" with my family. Tonight was no exception:

Thank you for choosing Charter Chat Live! A Customer Care representative
from Cable TV Order Inquiries will be with you shortly.
You have been connected to CVH Robert S .
Christopher Arnold: Hello?
CVH Robert S : My name is Robert. Thank you for contacting Charter Communications On-line Sales. How may I assist you?
Christopher Arnold: Hello. How are you?
CVH Robert S : ok
CVH Robert S : How may I assist you?
Christopher Arnold: Very good. I was hoping to determine if a better pricing plan exists for the services we currently have. Cable "Big Value" + Internet.
CVH Robert S : To get into a new promo you would need to upgrade your services.
Christopher Arnold: How exactly? I'm not sure what would be upgraded.
Christopher Arnold: I'm open to suggestions.
CVH Robert S : May I please have your full name, service address (street address, city, state, and zip code), and telephone number? This is so that I may pull up information for you in your local area.
Christopher Arnold: Heh, wonder why I had to do that before I signed into a chat session with you?
Christopher Arnold: Christopher Arnold/**** Arnold
Christopher Arnold: 257 ****** Road
Christopher Arnold: ******, **
Christopher Arnold: *****
Christopher Arnold: ***.***.****
CVH Robert S : hold please
CVH Robert S : The lowest house # in our system is 299
Christopher Arnold: That's a nice house down the street. I'd be happy to move there.
CVH Robert S : I would have to fill out a serviceability form to have a tech go out and check to see if the address is serviceable or not, this process takes about 3 to 5 business days.
Christopher Arnold: Uh...OK. I guess I'll just continue watching my existing Charter cable TV and using Charter network services until then.
Christopher Arnold: If it would help for me to move down the street, it really is a nice house. I don't think they would mind too much.
Christopher Arnold: Wow...1-298 ***** must be pretty pissed right now. Glad I'm not them. Wait...I am one of them.
Christopher Arnold: Hello?
CVH Robert S : I can not find your address in our system, can I have your account#?
Christopher Arnold: **** ** *** *******
CVH Robert S : found it
Christopher Arnold: Can I still move to 299 ***** Road? They have an in-law apartment.
CVH Robert S : Can you verify the last 4 of the SS# that is on your account please?
Christopher Arnold: ****
CVH Robert S : That is not the last 4 on the account.
Christopher Arnold: **** my spouse. **** me, if that helps.
CVH Robert S : The account is not in your name Christopher
CVH Robert S : You are not listed as an authorized user.
Christopher Arnold: ****, my spouse.
Christopher Arnold: I'm not listed as an authorized user? Like, I can't watch TV or play around on the computer?
CVH Robert S : No, I can not discuss the account with you.
Christopher Arnold: So you need to chat with my spouse?
CVH Robert S : She will need to chat in her self.
Christopher Arnold: OK, let me get her.
CVH Robert S : Thank you for choosing Charter Communications Chat Support. For general self-help, please visit http://support.charter.com. Also, check out our "Live it with Charter" customer rewards program. It is absolutely free, and you are eligible simply by being a Charter customer! You receive points based on your monthly service rate! For more information and to sign up, you can check out the Live it with Charter website here: http:// www.liveitwithcharter.com Thank you once again, and have a wonderful day!
If you require further assistance, go to www.charter.com/contact
Your session has ended. You may now close this window.

This painful ordeal took approximately 25 minutes and the f*%$er disconnected.

It's not: "We out-source this function to XYZ and you may experience slight lingual, cultural, temporal issues as we adapt to and utilize a global labor market.

It's: "We farm this kind of work out to barnacles scraped from boat hulls that somehow manage to attach themselves to keyboards and THIS is now your perception of our firm, regardless of how many intelligent, considerate or well-spoken individuals we employ or out-source to."

I wonder if those plan changes I made six months ago are actually valid? I should ask....